Wednesday, December 17, 2003
ARRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
I was feeling VERY VERY stressed earlier this evening... The boys were being as they usually are - rowdy and loud and excited - jumping, yelling, fighting, oh and writing on each other w/PERMANENT marker!!!!! - but man it had me over the edge... Of course overspending my limit at the Dollar Store today didn't help and the fact that I am really experiencing solo parenting for the 1st time this week as E decided to have a nervous breakdown/epiphany last week, quit his job and check into the hospital.... and the car payment is overdue and the house is a total disaster --- I was VERY VERY VERY overwhelmed to say the least.... But then I was talking to my dear friend Eliz and she helped me to calm down and look objectively at things... THANK YOU ELIZ!!! I can only do so much, I can only EXPECT to do so much... We discussed the house - I am gonna just focus on ONE ROOM!! ONE and maybe when I finish that we will see about moving to one more.... just take baby steps.... SOOO as I felt the stress build and build and build I put the boys to bed, put myself in time out w/my little clipboard w/my TO DO list on it and took the one room I am gonna focus on - the kitchen and listed all I need/want to do... when I felt better and the boys were asleep a half hr later I came back out... Put on Law & Order and started down my list.... I have already polished off the majority of the dishes - one of the biggest tasks on my list and I am working my way down - L&O is on til 12 so I am just gonna keep going while I watch/listen.... This is a whole new experience for me - I thought I was ready for single parenting - figured I was already doing most of it anyway but man it can all be overwhelming... Well tomorrow is another day and I am just gonna go one day a time - keep reciting the serenity prayer and turn things over to my higher power.... I will adjust and get thru this... Til next time...
I was feeling VERY VERY stressed earlier this evening... The boys were being as they usually are - rowdy and loud and excited - jumping, yelling, fighting, oh and writing on each other w/PERMANENT marker!!!!! - but man it had me over the edge... Of course overspending my limit at the Dollar Store today didn't help and the fact that I am really experiencing solo parenting for the 1st time this week as E decided to have a nervous breakdown/epiphany last week, quit his job and check into the hospital.... and the car payment is overdue and the house is a total disaster --- I was VERY VERY VERY overwhelmed to say the least.... But then I was talking to my dear friend Eliz and she helped me to calm down and look objectively at things... THANK YOU ELIZ!!! I can only do so much, I can only EXPECT to do so much... We discussed the house - I am gonna just focus on ONE ROOM!! ONE and maybe when I finish that we will see about moving to one more.... just take baby steps.... SOOO as I felt the stress build and build and build I put the boys to bed, put myself in time out w/my little clipboard w/my TO DO list on it and took the one room I am gonna focus on - the kitchen and listed all I need/want to do... when I felt better and the boys were asleep a half hr later I came back out... Put on Law & Order and started down my list.... I have already polished off the majority of the dishes - one of the biggest tasks on my list and I am working my way down - L&O is on til 12 so I am just gonna keep going while I watch/listen.... This is a whole new experience for me - I thought I was ready for single parenting - figured I was already doing most of it anyway but man it can all be overwhelming... Well tomorrow is another day and I am just gonna go one day a time - keep reciting the serenity prayer and turn things over to my higher power.... I will adjust and get thru this... Til next time...
